The rasul’s father was not alive when he was born. Does anyone ever think about that, about how the rasul felt not having a father? The thing is we read the seerah and we don’t reflect. How many of us reflect of what that was like, or what his journey was like?
The rasul was calm, but strong. Everything he went through prepared him for his mission. Go back. Think into his life.
"I got into this world, I have no father. I have a mother, but wait I can’t be with my mother to go to the Bedoins. Then, I come back and my mother dies. Who do I have? No mother. No father. Who do I have?"
Think about this. Think about who we go to when we’re suffering? with security, or when you have a bad dream? You run to your parents, right? Imagine, nowadays people are always like “Oh, he was the messenger of Allah, he was the rasul.” but..how many times do we sit down and reflect… the rasul also had feelings and he had those feelings for a reason.
….I don’t have a mother…nor a father… who is going to take care of me? What type of man was my father? How can I know what type of man was my father? Then, he goes to his uncle, maybe I can look what type of man he was from my uncle, from my grandfather. So, he lives with his grandfather after his mother passed. His grandfather had a rug that was near the kaaba and none of his kids were allowed to sit on except for him. They would all sit around and RasulAllah (SAW) would come on it and his grandfather would embrace him, and he used to walk side to side. So just imagine, and the grandfather would take him open arms. Imagine, you’ve been taken away, and the ones you loved the most have been taken away from you, but then you’re still been taken care of.
His grandmother’s name was Fatima. She also took care of him, so she was also like his mother. She said that all her kids would wake up and they would have eye goo in their eyes, but when RasulAllah (SAW) would wake up, she’d ask if he took a shower, and as if his eye were with kohl. Isn’t that beautiful? (SAW) She took care of him, think of this because we never think about the sentimental feelings. This was a woman that took care of him when he had no mother or no father. So, is it surprising that his most beloved daughter was named after his grandmother?
His grandfather now passed. He started to get older and he went to his uncle. He started understanding his surroundings. He realized that they’re not really rich…that they didn’t really have much.. he was almost poor and maybe he was a burden upon his family (some possible thoughts so we understand and envision what he went through). He thought that..maybe he should get a job… as a shepherd.. and there he was getting paid in pennies (very very little). Even though he was a shepherd, he aimed to be one of the best…and then became a businessman….
Then, he got married… Allah (swt) blessed him with a son..Al-qasem grew, walked, and called out his name a little.. just when he sees bits of pieces of this baby growing.. just when when he sees him calling his name..just when you have hope in this baby growing into a gentleman.. then Allah (swt) takes him…that is a very very very deep pain..probably worse than losing your own mother and father is losing your own son…(I haven’t gotten to the best part that made me cry)
So Allah takes away his mother.. takes away his father..so he realizes you know there’s nothing there..Allah gives him his grandfather, then takes him away.. then Allah gives him his son, he doesn’t take him right away, but just when he starts to see bits of pieces of him..of course, it’s not to pain RasulAllah, but there’s a reason. Now, this man is craving for meaning..
The people he looks up to..his mother and father are not there… there has to be something… so he’s searching..goes to the cave… trying to grasp something.. grabbing so hard for meaning and purpose. He wants warmth and care. Allah swt kept taking away these things so he can look towards Allah only… the pain was so deep that it caused him not only to make dua, it caused him to retreat.
Some people are lost, but they have other things they can try to fulfill themselves with, you know like cars, their house, their family, etc.. so sometimes they can make dua and then stop… but here, Allah swt kept hitting him so hard every single time so he won’t get attached. Allah reminds him that he was created to get information to be raised under Allah swt. He was raised directly under Allah (swt).
Amu Fikry, one of my beloved teachers told us at one of our halaqas that Allah is “rabena, ” but He also gave us our mothers and fathers to raise us so for a while, we looked up to them, but the rasul was different because He was preparing him for something much deeper.. He was in the direct tarbeya (raising) of Allah and Allah did not have anyone interfere with that..
The next worst thing after being in a tribal society and not having a father is not having sons because we have this concept of “Who is going to carry your name thing” In a tribal society, you have to have a father; “a name,” or have a son to uphold your name, if you don’t then who are you? So again, think of his pain…we see he had no place. Even though people respected and honored him, he really didn’t have a place. “You have a place because of who your fathers and sons are”, but Allah didn’t want him to have any type of power, he didn’t want him to have any interference. He wanted him to be a guide to everyone.
He loved his daughters so much. He had umm kalthoom, kawthar, Zainab, and Fatima. Zainab gets married and passes away. What made me cry was when I heard of Fatima. She was the most beloved to rasul Allah (pbuh). When Fatima died, he went into the grave with her. and made dua for her, washed her, and put in there and then went into the grave again with her and he made a dua… just imagine, who goes into the grave with somebody? That’s how much love he had for her and made dua that Allah expands her grave.
Imagine after all these voids, that Allah (swt) after all this pain and longing, Allah says “iqra”, and Allah finally gives him the answer he was looking for. He honors him, he doesn’t say “iqra be esm alathee el khalaq”.. He says “rabaka” Allah personalizes, Allah wants to let him know that “I am Your Lord,” I am Your Lord, nor does He said “I am a Creator, why rabb?
Think about the word rab. If you put it together, rasul didn’t have a rab(someone who raises) in the house, in terms of mother and father. Allah says, he could have said ana ilahak or so many other things. He says “I am the one who raised and took care of you.”
Now think again.. rasul lost his mother, father, grandfather and grandmother.. and here, he’s thinking I don’t have anyone, but now I have everything because I have Allah.. I have Allah to take care of me, I am in good hands.. and then Allah reveals to him….
Imagine after all these voids, he was just like this is stable..Now imagine, when the rasul stopped receiving revelation…and how at that time he was told that Allah has betrayed him..just imagine how he felt..imagine what he went through and how hard that must have been…Imagine the pain he felt when Allah stopped talking to him after he finally found the answer..That’s how bad it was.. He felt like Allah was displeased by Him..
And just as he’s at that point, and as he’s under the direct care of Allah (swt), He comes down with the verse, “Wad-duha, wel leili etha saja ma wad da3ka rabuka wa ma qaleh…" (Surat Ad-Duha) Why does Allah use the word "yateem?" He’s reminding him he was a yateem (orphan), and Allah guided him, because when you’re a yateem, you’re lost and confused, remember how lost the rasul was and how he had no place in the world, he had no parents. Allah blesses us with parents so that they can guide us, but he didn’t have any of that. No father, no guidance, no place in society. He was respected, but he had no place.
This has been my favorite surah because whenever I am going through something, I read it to myself and I try to feel that Allah is talking to me, of course he’s talking to the rasul, the Qur’an is for everyone but I feel like Allah is talking to me like “Diana, I have not forgotten about you…” Allahu akbar..
You’ll never find a person who was more tested than the rasul. He was tested in every aspect, but Allah does not do that with us. Something I was thinking about is that Allah is with the oppressed.. with the one who struggles… imagine the one who is tested, how close Allah is to them… but someone like the rasul, anddd…that’s why there’s no barrier between Allah and the rasul! Peace and Blessings Be Upon Him, ya rasul Alllah.